autopsy play backwards


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It is our good friends Forensic Officer ALEC-ALEC and Forensic Officer ZOFIA POLITSI. There is the dead and operated on MR G. ZOFIA takes MR G’s heart out of a waste-paper basket.
ALEC-ALEC: Awesome idea! Let’s go to the cafeteria!

ZOFIA: Well, things were pretty exciting there for a minute or two. I think we deserve some pizza pie.


ZOFIA and ALEC-ALEC unsign the report. ALEC-ALEC begins unwriting the report.


ALEC-ALEC: And I’ll just get your signature here…

ZOFIA: I’ll dictate to you. Subject: Mr G. Age – 17. Cause of death – heart attack.

ALEC-ALEC: So what shall I put as the cause of death?

ZOFIA: Then you can start writing the report. Look at this. You see this discolouration along the left aorta.

ALEC-ALEC: I’ve finished cleaning up.


ZOFIA puts MR G’s heart back into his chest. ALEC-ALEC wipes blood onto the floor.


ZOFIA: I can’t be sure until I’ve seen it. Making incision.
ALEC-ALEC: So you think it was his heart that gave way?

ZOFIA: I’ve dealt with bigger problems than this. Hand me that scalpel. Right, now you clean the blood off the floor. I’m going to examine his organs.

ALEC-ALEC: Zofia, you are a genius.


ALEC-ALEC and ZOFIA take off their coats. ZOFIA puts them in a corner. They look worried.


ZOFIA: Let me think let me think… Got it!

ALEC-ALEC: He surely is. We’re fucked.
ZOFIA: He’s dead.


MR G comes back to life and begins struggling. ALEC-ALEC and ZOFIA beat him savagely. The blood is sucked back into MR G’s body (somehow). MR G gets to his feet.


ZOFIA: I kill you!

MR G: She’s my daughter now!

ZOFIA: That girl… was my daughter!

MR G: You have no idea who you’re messing with. So what if I killed that girl? There’s plenty of other girls in the world!

ZOFIA: Oh, now I’m getting irritated. Back in the chair.


MR G sits down.


MR G: Damn your questions! You can’t hold me here!

ALEC-ALEC: Forget your lawyer, we’ve got a couple more questions-

MR G: I want to speak with my lawyer!

ZOFIA: You’re a bright fucking spark, you are. You can consider yourself accused.

MR G: Are you… are you accusing me?

ZOFIA: What Detective Alec-Alec and I have been wondering is: how did your knife get to be in this compromising position?

MR G: So that’s where I left it!

ALEC-ALEC: We found it lodged in the throat of this murdered girl.

ZOFIA: It has your name engraved on the handle.

MR G: What could possibly make you think that this is my knife?

ALEC-ALEC: Yes, we’ve recovered this knife from a crime scene. We think it may belong to you.

MR G: I got a phone call at work saying that some of my property has been found…


MR G sits down.


ZOFIA: I’m Detective Zofia, this is Detectiev Alec-Alec. Please, have a seat.

MR G: Not at all, I just want to be of help.

ZOFIA: Thanks very much for coming in to speak with us here at the morgue.

MR G: That’s right, sure is.



MR G shakes both their hands, nods, leaves.



there come a knock at the door.