Another sample from 22 short plays


I don’t know, I searched for ‘Carny’ on Wikimedia Commons.

So a brief while ago I posted up a free anthology of 22 short plays entitled 22 short plays, in which the guiding principle was that all the plays (there are 22 of them) are short. Thoroughly short. I don’t want to make any dumb references to the ‘Youtube generation’ or whatever it is that insane old fuckers refer to human beings as this century, but most of these scripts are in no danger of being longer than a page. The following is another brief sample from the collection.

Commercial for Jeans

Phil appears around the corner.

– Oh, hi John. What are you doing?

– I’m strangling a carnie.

– You’re strangling a carnie?

– Yes, I’m downstairs strangling a carnie.

JEANS

Same rule as always: this stuff is all rights-free, so long as you give me a heads-up about any performances you may be planning.

Download 22 short plays by david finig.doc

North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 02 – Dog and the Dirty Ocean

The second of four publications from the North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits has arrived! The name of the game here is DOG! And the Dirty Ocean!


So that’s me, Dog. Five o’clock shadow at ten am, broad brow shouldered, avalanche voice, and fabulous breasts covered in hair.
Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Dog’s a knife-fighter; just another blade-twirling butcher from the Pits with no schooling and too many scars to be pretty. Who cares that he’s a transsexual? He can barely keep up payments for hormones and he’s been been wearing the same miniskirt for weeks. Dog’s got problems with his heart, problems with his agent and problems with finance, but when he rescues a beautiful young nun from a savage beating, his problems start to add up to a whole ocean of worry… a dirty ocean.

Dog and the Dirty Ocean was written by the North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits’ most cherubic and velvet-skinned fighting duo: The Human Cannonball Academy and blind. This is the second of the four installments of the NBKFP’s publications. If you want to read the first one, click here – if you want to read the third and fourth, hold on to your hats. If you want to download Dog and the Dirty Ocean, do it right now.

Download The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 02 – Dog and the Dirty Ocean.pdf (5.4mb)

Dig it like you’re digging a hole.

 
The Human Cannonball Academy and blind: yes, just as good looking in real life.

The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits

North Belconnen has an active and strong freeform martial arts, cage fighting and knife fighting scene. Throughout the 80s and 90s, a lot of great fighters and fight events were run in basements, backyards and carparks. Then in 2002, local hero Hadley (aka The Human Cannonball Academy) and former Shotokan black-belt turned switchblade champion David Finig (aka blind) joined forces to set up the North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits, a home for knife fighting in Canberra.

The NBKFP has seen a lot of great fighters and artists come through its doors since its inception: interstate and international knife-stars, plus a lot of great home-grown fighters. And of course, our loyal grass-roots following of fight-fans and supporters who keep the whole organisation rolling.

Now, at the end of a great year for knife fighting in Australia, the North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits is celebrating by releasing four publications from its last few years of life. These four publications look back on and celebrate some great years of fighting: some highs, some lows, some triumphs, some disasters, and a lot of great blood shed on our faithful wooden floor!

So hold on to your hats, keep your guard up, and get ready for four exciting issues of the North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits!

Download:

The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 01.pdf (1.7mb)

The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 02 – Dog and the Dirty Ocean.pdf (5.4mb)

The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 03.pdf (3.2mb)

The North Belconnen Knife Fighting Pits 04 – A Most Curious Dream.pdf (5.2mb)


The Human Cannonball Academy psyching out the photographer before running him through with a shiv!


This shot from 2006 was taken right after blind demolished his opponent but before he was disqualified for – well –

22 short plays


Paul Blenheim, Conor Gallacher and Ellen Grimshaw in MKA’s production of 22 Short Plays, dir. Tobias Manderson-Galvin. Image by Sarah Walker.

Who here’s sick of plays that are longer than two pages? I know, I know. When I’m thinking about kicking back and checking out potential scripts for future productions, the last thing I want is to be drowned in a swamp of pages, words, lines, plots, characters… those things have their place, and their place is not here.

What is here is a collection of 22 short plays, written over 2006-09. And by short I mean, well, here is an example of what I mean:

1. commercial for jeans

Phil appears around the corner.

– Oh, hi John. What are you doing?

– I’m strangling a carnie.

– You’re strangling a carnie?

– Yes, I’m downstairs strangling a carnie.

JEANS


Ellen Grimshaw in MKA’s production of 22 Short Plays, dir. Tobias Manderson-Galvin. Image by Sarah Walker..

To my way of thinking, any serious director / actors should be able to take that script and fill in the blanks themselves, without my going to the trouble of explaining exactly how it rolls out (or you having to read it). So, for your interest, if you’re interested, please feel free to download, read, and (if it’s of interest) to produce. Same rule as always: this stuff is all rights-free, so long as you give me a heads-up about any performances you may be planning.

Download 22 short plays by david finig.doc

22 Short Plays was first produced by MKA Richmond in June 2011, directed by Tobias Manderson-Galvin and featuring Paul Blenheim, Conor Gallacher and Ellen Grimshaw. For which much love.

So what’s included? The chapter listing is as follows:

1. commercial for jeans
2. cumgoblin
3. disease play
4. westpac atm
5. dune
6. teen prom movie
7. sad threesomes
8. let’s climb on each other’s shoulders
9. teenage girls on the railway platform
10. sitcom in three different time periods
11. slave market at the top of a ski lift
12. beowulf computer game
13. eats tapes
14. TV guide
15. communist anthem 1951
16. footprints: a parable of man and god
17. quarter snake
18. the cigarettes 1965
19. friction
20. ile and moondirt
21. preview for the island
22. coat made of eyes


this is a photo of me from 2006-09 recommending you download and perhaps read these plays.

teenage girls on the railway platform

–    I’ve lost my discman.

pause

–    I think it was sometime tonight.
–    Do you reckon somebody’s taken it?
–    My discman, oh my god!

pause

–    …oh my god…
–    So where did you put it?
–    Well I swear I put it in my satchel, but it’s not in there.
–    Not in the top bit?
–    How could I have lost it?
–    I took it out today.
–    I know you did. I saw it on the floor but then I took it out today because I wanted to listen to it and now I don’t know where it is.
–    Do we have enough time to go back?
–    That’s really shit.
–    Maybe someone in the railway station would know. What about the campsite?
–    There could be enough time if it was there.
–    You seriously could have time if you run.
–    I’m not gonna run back.
–    Yeah, you run and we’ll wait for you.
–    I might just go, yeah.
–    You can just ring them and they’ll send it over.